Reading: The Wall by Marlen Haushofer

This book really messed me up. What happens to a person when they’re completely alone? When their friends and loved ones cease to exist? They realize that so much of their identity and the things that they did were all done for or because of other people. And when those people go away, how do you feel about what you did with your life? You realize how little it all mattered. You did well in school but what good is that now? It can’t help you build a better home for the cow. And you can’t even remember anything you learned in all those years in school anyway.

But you appreciate the world around you more. You know what the cow needs and the dog and you are one step away from conversations. You look up at the stars and for the first time in your life you realize how bright the night sky is.

It’s only since I’ve slowed down that the forest around me has come to life.